|Being likable is a sought-after trait. Even kids know that being likable gets them rewarded and adults recognize too that such a trait makes them feel good. Sometimes, it also allows them to get something they want way easier and faster than others / Photo by: dolgachov via 123RF|
Being likable is a sought-after trait. Even kids know that being likable gets them rewarded and adults recognize too that such a trait makes them feel good. Sometimes, it also allows them to get something they want way easier and faster than others. Too many people think that being likable is an inborn quality or a trait that belongs only to the incredibly talented, the fiercely social, and the good looking, but it’s not. It is a skill that every person can learn
Travis Bradberry, the co-founder of consultancy company TalentSmart, which provides emotional intelligence tests and training, believes there are common traits that likable people possess.
#1. They are honest and genuine
Being honest and genuine is a trait that likable people possess and something that people can learn or develop to be likable to others. Since no one likes a fraud, people will naturally gravitate to individuals who are genuine because they feel that they are someone they can trust. Bradberry added that it is difficult to like someone if you don’t know how they truly feel or who they are. Likable people know themselves and are confident enough of their skin. They concentrate on what makes them happy and what drives them as a person, which makes them more interesting.
#2. They are not judgmental
Likable people are open-minded and are not judgmental. People don’t want to have a conversation with someone who is not willing to listen or had formed an opinion even before knowing the other person. On the other hand, being open-minded is important in most situations. Being approachable in the workplace, for instance, means access to help and new ideas with your co-workers. Seeing people through their eyes eliminates preconceived judgment and notions because you understand where they are coming from. This does not mean following other people’s beliefs or condoning their actions, but not judging them.
#3. They are reliable and consistent
Likable people understand that when others approach them, they want to know what kind of response they can get or understand the person they are dealing with. Being consistent also means being reliable. They make sure that even if their mood goes up and down, it will not affect how they treat the people around them.
#4. They make a strong first impression
A Harvard study of communication shows that most people decide whether they like a person or not in the first seven seconds of meeting them. Then, they will spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their first impression. About 38% of the first impression is aural or how a person sounds, including the quality of the voice, grammar, and tone. Only 7% of the first impression is formed based on the words being said, including the structure of sentences and the verbiage. Lastly, 55% comprise visual, such as the dress, body language, handshake, and walk.
A survey was conducted in Japan among 20= to 39-year-old female employees of the most important first impressions that they wanted to make on their first meeting at work. Around 27.6% strongly agree that having clear skin and being someone easy to talk to are the most important traits. Meanwhile, 22.6% believe it is having a youthful appearance, 18.9% being fashionable, 18.4% being lively, 18.2% being reliable, 17.9% being organized, 15.8% being someone good at the job, 15.5% being intelligent, 13.2% by wearing high-quality clothes, 13.2% being sexy, and 10.8% by being cool looking.
#5. They listen and ask thoughtful questions
The common traits of likable people are that they listen when other people speak. They are not focused on what they will say to the other person next to or how the words of that person will affect them. Instead, they listen and may only ask thoughtful questions to let others know that they are being heard. Consequently, they gain appreciation and respect.
#6. They are not an attention seeker
Truly likable people are relaxed and comfortable in their weaknesses and strengths. They know that regardless of how hard they try, they are never going to be perfect. So, they are fine with being real and vulnerable sometimes. They don’t need to please everybody just to make them happy. They are not desperate for attention but are simply considerate and friendly to others. When they speak in a concise, confident, and friendly manner, other people will also notice and will be more attentive to what they have to say.
#7. They are appreciative and humble
These two traits are a combo. When likable people are given attention or acknowledged for their accomplishments, they will shift that focus to the team who also helped them along the way. If it is a team effort, the fact that others are recognized shows that the person or their leader is humble and appreciative. These two things are closely connected to being likable.
#8. They have a positive body language
Body language is non-verbal communication between two people or a group of individuals. Likable people have a positive body language and this encourages people to approach them and establish a connection with them.
Dr. Albert Mehabrian, a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, introduced the 7-8-55 communication model to emphasize the importance of non-verbal communication. He said that the total impact of a message is often based on 7% words, 38% tone of voice, rate of speech, volume, and vocal pitch, and 55% hand gestures, facial expressions, postures, and other forms of body language.
#9. They use people’s names when greeting and addressing them
There is power in using someone’s name in the greeting and addressing them. It tells them that they are important enough to be remembered and it makes the latter feel validated. This is why likable people take note of other people’s names in their minds, leading to friendship or a more meaningful relationship in the future, such as in business.
#10. They smile
People naturally and sometimes unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they are having a conversation with. Likable people smile to send the feeling of warmth and it also conveys feelings of happiness, bringing the other person to an instantly happier mood.
#11. They know when to touch to show care
Touching someone releases oxytocin in their brain, which is a neurotransmitter that is linked with positive feelings and trust. A simple huge, friendly handshake, and a touch on the shoulder, when done appropriately, is a great way to show that they care.
Likable people are unique and invaluable. They bring out the best in people around them. Everyone can build deep meaningful connections with others by developing the skills to be likable.