How to Handle Your Bully Child
Thu, April 22, 2021

How to Handle Your Bully Child

There are zero-tolerance policies that are often ineffective in bullying cases in schools today. Nothing is more unsettling than finding out that your child is not as upright as you think they are / Photo by: Rawpixel.com via Shutterstock

 

Children are a delight for their parents. They are the ray of sunshine for their teachers and peers. However, there is also another side to them that can worry adults, especially their parents. What if their children are not always the angels they thought they are? What if their children are the ones who hurt other children around them?

Not all people are the same. There are bad and good seeds, and that can be applicable even to little kids. As much as we want to believe that little kids are great miniature humans who are free from impurities, some have a tendency to become a bully. These children might not hurt other kids physically, but they can be a ring leader of verbal and emotional abuse, which they may not be aware that they are doing. 

There is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to preventing or stopping children from bullying others, according to an article published by The Washington Post, an American daily newspaper. There are zero-tolerance policies that are often ineffective in bullying cases in schools today. Nothing is more unsettling than finding out that your child is not as upright as you think they are. However, as a parent, it is your responsibility to make things right and let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. These are some of the things that you can do to set your bully child on the right path.

 

Talk to Them

In an article published by Annapolis Pediatrics, a website that provides superior healthcare to infants, children, and young adults, they mentioned that it is important for parents and adults, who interact with children and adolescents, to be alert to the signs of bullying. To know if your child is being bullied or being a bully, you should learn how to identify the subtle changes in their behaviors and attitudes such as academic performance, sleep disturbance, and emotional outbursts.

The best time to talk to children whom you believe is experiencing something is during a quiet time at home or when you are driving, when no one else is around. This can make them feel safe and at ease. Turn the music down and ask a few starter questions about their day at school or during an activity. Let them have it their way when they are telling their stories and be an active listener to encourage them to talk more. 

Once you learn that your child has bullied another child, it is your job to set them right immediately. Always keep a calm and authoritative tone if you have a conversation with them. Let them know that you are serious about it, but never yell at them for it. Verywell Family, an online resource for parenting and childcare, mentioned that addressing the issue immediately demonstrates that you are aware of the situation and that the behavior is not to be tolerated. 

To know if your child is being bullied or being a bully, you should learn how to identify the subtle changes in their behaviors and attitudes such as academic performance, sleep disturbance, and emotional outbursts / Photo by: Elena_Goncharova via Shutterstock

 

Identify the Cause

After you address the problem with them, develop a correct plan of discipline for your child. Parents need to find out why their child chooses to harm other kids. For example, if your kid is a victim of bullying before, you will need to deal with their actions in the present while also helping them cope through the bullying they have endured in the past. 

On the other hand, if their reason for bullying is because they want to be the popular part of a clique, then you must address the issue and give them the explanation why it is important to have healthy friendships and to resist peer pressures. Be specific in your lecture and avoid vague morality tales. You can use real accounts wherein the child can feel real empathy. It will show understanding and encourage open conversation with the child. Having a good-faith personal story will make the issue more concrete. 

 

Let Them Understand the Consequences

“The punishment should fit the crime” is a statement that is true in most cases, and it includes bullying. If your child tends to bully other people online, you can take away their phone privileges. This is an example of a logical consequence that parents can do if their child acts out. But to make this punishment more effective, you must go through how your child bullies other kids while online.

Parents must understand that kids bully other kids because they are rebelling against childhood niceties. This is an attempt to embrace and experience power, which they believe they can achieve once they grow older / Photo by: fizkes via Shutterstock

 

Engage in Power Play

Parents must understand that kids bully other kids because they are rebelling against childhood niceties. This is an attempt to embrace and experience power, which they believe they can achieve once they grow older. Bullies are mimicking what they see in adults as strength. 

If the bully tends to act like an older person, parents must avoid treating them as a kid. Let them have a conversation full of respect and in a serious approach for them to feel that just like in adulthood, every action they do have a serious consequence. Leveling with them honestly and clearly can be more helpful than having an overly gentle approach. 

Handling a child’s behavior is full of pitfalls. Parents will do well to come armed with the right mindset and enough information to tread this path as successfully as possible.