What to Do When Your Kids Fight
Thu, April 22, 2021

What to Do When Your Kids Fight

Children all have different likes and personalities. Also, there could be some rivalry and competition when it comes to the attention of the parents / Photo by: Tatyana Tomsickova via 123RF

 

Having children at home could be everything that couples could wish for. The happiness and fulfillment that kids can bring to the household are somehow immeasurable. More children could mean more fun, but it could also be a bit problematic. Children all have different likes and personalities. Also, there could be some rivalry and competition when it comes to the attention of the parents. Even if two siblings are very close to each other, they can still have some moments of tension and friction.

According to the Very Well Family page, a website that provides information and other resources about pregnancy and parenting, parents can still manage this kind of situation. All it takes is a little patience with the children, and some understanding that these things really do happen. As much as possible, experts suggest that there should be a strong bond between siblings at an early age. Parents should be able to teach their children to manage conflicts with their siblings, and this could result in fights being minimized. If children are able to know the concept of acceptance and understanding, they can carry it through adulthood and in other relationships.

Forms of Sibling Rivalry/Fighting

There are several forms of sibling fighting. You’ll be surprised that there are even different types, and most children will be able to utilize at least one of them. The Center for Parenting website, an online resource page for parenting advice and information, lists down some of the ways children can provoke or start fighting with their siblings:

(*) blaming

(*) poking

(*) giving names/name-calling

(*) hiding things

(*) physical hitting

(*) eye-to-eye contact

(*) lying

(*) stealing

(*) breaking things that do not belong to them

(*) throwing stuff at one another

You may have already noticed your children doing these things, and it could be frustrating if you can't stop them, no matter how hard you try. The fighting might seem unnecessary, but it could be a coping mechanism for children if they are experiencing something they do not want others to know about.

There are several forms of sibling fighting. You’ll be surprised that there are even different types, and most children will be able to utilize at least one of them / Photo by: belchonock via 123RF

 

If you were an only child growing up, it would be harder to understand. However, if you have siblings yourself, then you might be familiar with some of the reasons why brothers and sister fight:

(*) seeking attention from parents

(*) wants to impose authority on another sibling

(*) boredom

(*) trying to connect with a sibling but in a wrong manner

(*) longing for physical contact

(*) wants to be in favor with the parents, or be the family ‘favorite’

When it comes to fighting, you’ll have to accept that it is somewhat inevitable. It can and will happen from time to time. There is no particular reason for it, and you do not need to blame yourself for the rivalry. With fighting, some children benefit from it by learning different skills that can be useful in life, such as negotiation and understanding.

You have to know as well that you can never totally eliminate sibling rivalry. You can only know about and manage its occurrences. If you think your parents handled sibling rivalry in a good way, you can follow their example.

Handling Sibling Fighting

You may not know the cause of the fighting, but as a parent, you should be able to manage the conflict, and be a guide for them to find a solution to their problem. Also, you have to make sure that there is no permanent damage to their relationship.

(*) Teach your children to handle things positively

Teach your children to listen to their siblings first before they become angry. Everything can be sorted out through proper communication. As much as possible, make sure that they do not call their siblings names, as this can greatly affect them emotionally. Tell them to be constructive and find the best solution.

(*) Work as a team

A family works as a single unit; if one is uncooperative or if there is dissent among the members, then it cannot move forward. Just as you, the parents, should be in harmony, teach your children that they should also be at peace so that your family can function as one.

(*) Be able to step in when needed

It would be great if you let your children handle their conflicts. However, if things only become more and more serious, then it would be time for you to step in. If aggression is already present, then you should be in the middle of the argument to end it promptly.

(*) Respect is the number one rule

This should be the number one rule your family follows. Whatever the reason for the argument, there should still be respect. Name-calling, hitting, and any form of aggression should be stopped. Being able to listen is important so that respect is followed.

You may not know the cause of the fighting, but as a parent, you should be able to manage the conflict, and be a guide for them to find a solution to their problem / Photo by: belchonock via 123RF