The Crazy World of Modern Dating
Thu, April 22, 2021

The Crazy World of Modern Dating

Social researchers say that online dating is so commoditized that the dating lovescape is no longer developing for the better. / Photo by: georgejmclittle via 123rf

 

Generations ago when greater morality was still the norm, the idea of dating seemed so romantic. Romantic relationships have greatly evolved since then, just like everything else in the world.

At the beginning of the early 20th century, dating started to go public and unchaperoned with an end goal of landing a spouse for marriage. In today’s dating world, marriage is the farthest from the mind often only raised several years later. Modern dating is a far cry from the courtship our grandparents experienced in the past.

Online Shopping for Mates

In the US, 40% of Americans use online dating. Everyone has at least one dating app on their phone. The market is flooded with dating apps like Bumble and Hinge, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, and more to let millennials and generation z nose-about potential suitors and find “the one.” The dating game looks wonderful and rosy, but how come so many millennials are complaining it is too complex and disappointing when technology was supposed to make it more trouble-free?

Social researchers say that online dating is so commoditized that the dating lovescape is no longer developing for the better. The casual culture of the generation today where one night stands and friends with benefits abound make it difficult to seriously date and “go steady.” According to Eric Resnick, an online dating coach and founder of ProfileHelper.com, the young generation treat online dating as a video game rather than as a feasible method of real association and attachment.

Humans are redefining the falling in love process. Venus Nicolino, a relationship expert, says that using electronic communication in courtship and dating is a projection of insecurities onto screens. So many romantic moments are lost. The ‘falling in love’ magic has changed, and a new language has emerged.

Virtual Reality, the Future in Dating

Technology has transformed the dating game. The ‘falling in love’ definition will definitely keep on switching with the advances in technology. Take, for example, virtual reality (VR) where deep absorption for remote social interaction is so promising. Socializing in virtual space is near reality. If this happens, a VR date should be more passionate and intense than online dating. VR brings into play feelings of being in actual virtual space.

Studies reveal that Skype and Facetime create greater trust and satisfaction than just talking over the phone. In VR, it is expected to achieve more! Isn’t it amazing to spacewalk in romantic Venice?

Creating an infinite space to uniquely share connections without spending anything becomes a sure way to cultivate attraction and romance. VR is the future of dating and love!

 

Studies reveal that Skype and Facetime create greater trust and satisfaction than just talking over the phone. / Photo by: prykhodov via 123rf

 

Gripes on Online Dating

Going back to reality, online dating lacks reliable maps to navigate. Despite being more “technically” connected, anxiety and depression have been higher among online daters. To a large extent, online dating can become a great disconnect.

The following are a few common gripes on online dating.

• There are more romantic prospects that can be imagined today on online dating. Singles are plentiful and polyamory is prevalent with more couples dating outside of established relationships. Shouldn’t this make dating easy? In theory, yes, in practice, no.

The present infinite options seem to create a “paradox of choice” to change dates again and again if a flaw or conflict surfaces. Somehow, this affects the openness to build a connection with someone. Today’s dating culture assumes connection will just happen instantaneously. Immediate chemistry could happen but real connection needs to be built and nurtured together, learning about each other, building trust, and sharing experiences. So, if you do not take responsibility and give someone a chance, the connection will just go caput.

• Another gripe is everyone is unreliable. There is no social accountability as the contact just disappears and ends like a ghost. Online dating is a social network that enables meeting people from all walks of life. However, without a common context, honest behavior is a high probability. The mechanics of modern dating allows the evasion from discomfort and personal accountability, creating a bigger societal uneasiness affecting self-esteem.

• The type of digital communication favored varies from person to person often influenced by his culture and generation. With the numerous digital communication platforms available, it is so easy to misunderstand the message or intention. Somewhere along the way, something gets lost in digital translation, nipping the budding relationship.

• Social media has its own distinctive language to master. All those terms (ghosting, cohabitating, bird boxing, freeclimbing, meh, kittenfishing, etc.) need to be learned to get to understand the messages. Confounding this is the “to each his own” attitude in terms of what codes of conduct to follow.

• Many online daters complain that “no one meets organically anymore.” The simple translation to this is in reference to the bombastic and instantaneous feelings of shock in a chance meeting. Let us be realistic that this seldom happens, although you could take the risk and engineer an “organic” meeting with someone you are interested in among the numerous faces in your dating app.

So, is dating better or worse today?

You have the freedom to choose how you will live your life. You can choose who to romantically involve yourself with. You make your own rules. This is precisely why dating is so provocative and exciting. Today's dating world is without a doubt a jungle, but don’t despair, love can still happen. Whether on Tinder or in Plenty of Fish, you can chance upon "the one."