|Most mothers will not realize that they are being stage moms, or will not admit it because such an attitude is always frowned upon by society. / Photo by: Dmitrii Shironosov via 123rf|
You might have seen several TV shows or videos on the internet about moms being so pushy with their children to be in the limelight. Or maybe, you yourself have signed up your child to be part of the Christmas special of the “Nutcracker.” You and all those mothers may have the best interest of the children in mind, but unfortunately, being a stage mom could be more negative than positive for you, your child, and the rest of your family.
According to the iMom page, a website that caters to all things and questions on motherhood, most mothers will not realize that they are being stage moms, or will not admit it because we know very well what it means to be pushy with our children—such an attitude is always frowned upon by society.
Stage Mom Traits
So, the question is: How do you know if you are being a stage mom? Most of us will feel a little bit embarrassed to admit that we are such, especially once we notice all the disapproving glances thrown our way. To set the record straight, here are some things for you to confirm if you are a stage mom or not.
Most stage moms are considered to be insecure because they try to make themselves feel that they are better or at the same level as other people. Their self-confidence is always dependent on what they think is approval from other people that they are doing a good job raising kids because of their achievements in sports or at school. This is why most of the time, children grow tired of the constant pushing and nagging from their stage moms.
The habit of comparing
It’s not just about how their kids are doing things; they have to be the best at what they are doing all the time. Success is not the only thing a stage mom’s child needs to have. It’s also about making sure others know about it. You’ll hear this kind of mom bragging about how her child is number one at something all the time. Afterward, she’ll ask you how your child is doing for comparison.
|Most stage moms has a habit of comparing. / Photo by: oksix via 123rf|
Sacrifice, not compromise
The bad thing about stage moms is that they usually sacrifice so many things in the name of the so-called success for their children. Some of the common things they sacrifice are money, health, and time. The accomplishment of her child is the only thing that matters, never mind all the other positive things that might be happening around her.
Experience is not important; winning is
Her child should always be No. 1. Being number two or a runner-up finish just won’t cut it. A stage mom will never see anything else as a learning experience. Instead, it would be disappointing for her that her child didn’t get the highest prize or the lead role. This can be stressful for the child because being constantly pushed to be the best isn’t really comforting at all.
The past is the present
Most stage moms would have won some contest or pageant in the past, and they always brag this to others or their kids. This could be frustrating or annoying for people around her especially when it’s repeated at every opportunity. Worse, she uses this as motivation for her child to achieve something more, even when they don’t have the same aspiration as her.
|Most stage moms would have won some contest or pageant in the past, and they always brag this to others or their kids. / Photo by: Roman Samborskyi via 123rf|
How to Avoiding Being a Stage Mom
In an article on CNN, a news website that offers international breaking and features news, the best thing that moms can do to avoid becoming a stage parent is to make sure that they listen to their children. It is not basically bad to make our kids join in activities that can help them enrich their careers in the future, develop their personality, or increase their mental function. We just have to make sure that they are responding well to the kind of pressure that we give to them and not showing signs of exhaustion or lack of interest.
We also have to ask ourselves: Is this really for my child or is this thing for the benefit of myself? We may want our child to be a jack of all trades but it would not be nice if end up as a master of none, not actually good at anything but rather just knowledgeable about everything. As a mom, you should be able to encourage your child to do the things they want without the need to be pushy about it.
The worst thing about being a stage mom is when they push their child to achieve what she has failed to do when she was younger. This can be very frustrating to the child if they have their sights on a different direction but cannot pursue it because of their mom. Yes, it’s true that our children are still young to decide for themselves, but we should just guide them and offer support for whatever they want to achieve in life.