|Parents should let their children explore and learn new things. / Photo by: Tatiana Kostareva via 123rf|
Most parents assume that they ‘instinctively’ know the best techniques to raise children. After all, some people say that parenting comes naturally. Parents need to make sure that they prioritize their kids’ overall health. The emotional, social, and physical development of children has a direct effect on their overall development, especially as they grow into adults.
This is why it is important for their parents to invest in them to maximize their future well-being. According to an article by Very Well Family, a modern resource that offers a realistic and friendly approach to pregnancy and parenting, "developmentally appropriate" refers to the practice of making a curriculum based on what the children or students can accomplish cognitively, physically, and emotionally at a certain age. This means that parents need to invest time and effort in getting to know their children because this is one of the most effective ways of disciplining them.
However, some parents are not aware that they are already making a lot of mistakes in raising and disciplining their children. Worse, most of them fall into the same common parenting pitfalls. In a book titled “The Total Transformation Program,” author James Lehman stated that one of the core building blocks to effective parenting is identifying your own parenting style to see what’s working and what isn’t. At the same time, you should be aware of some of the most common parenting mistakes to avoid doing them. Here are some examples:
Not Letting Your Child Explore
While it’s completely understandable that parents wanted to protect their children at all costs, it’s important that they explore and learn new things. They should be given enough freedom that is appropriate for their age, even if it means that there’s a chance that they might get hurt along the process. If parents constantly keep guarding and correcting their children, they will not be willing to try new things or learn from their mistakes.
Dr. Vinay Saranga, M.D., a child psychiatrist, stated that letting children "slowly build their independence" is more effective than expecting them to learn it all at once in adulthood. Still, they should also learn their boundaries or limits so they wouldn’t do something that is out of hand.
Constantly Comparing Them With Others
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes that many parents commit. Most of the time, parents tend to compare their children to other kids, hoping that they will learn how to behave properly. Parents try to constantly tell them how others are doing better so they can strive and do better themselves. However, this will only affect their self-confidence. The idea of not being enough or not being able to perform well would affect their perspectives in life.
According to Psychology Today, an online site that features the latest from the world of psychology, comparing your child with other people is a surefire way to impair their esteem and damage their fragile egos. It has been observed that kids who are criticized grow up to think of themselves as outsiders and underachievers. They tend to not celebrate their strengths and achievements because they were never taught to.
|Parents try to constantly tell their children how others are doing better so they can strive and do better themselves. / Photo by: Iakov Filimonov via 123rf|
Not Listening to Their Kids
Parenting is a two-way process, which means children should be given an opportunity to be heard. Most of the time, some parents think that since they are the older ones, children are not allowed to reason out because they are still young. Dr. Saranga stated that kids also want a voice. This means THAT parents should take the time to listen to what they have to say, which is a crucial part of making children feel valued. While their thoughts may be disagreeable sometimes, there’s still no harm in giving them a chance to voice out their feelings.
Inconsistent Disciplining Methods
Sometimes, parents use different kinds of techniques in disciplining their kids, which can confuse them. Parents must have a consistent disciplining method and follow their own rules.
According to Best Life, the most cutting-edge and expert-backed smarter living advice website, parents should also avoid lecturing their children. "When disciplining your child, it is important to keep your words to a minimum. Anything more than a few sentences and your kids will most likely tune you out,” psychotherapist Victoria Shaw said.
Being a Tiger Parent
Being a tiger parent means having the tendency to be pushy and have a strong focus on achievement and academics. They also engage in ‘competitive parenting’, a style of parenting that has become increasingly prevalent over the last decade. However, kids may end up being ‘crushed’ by this style of parenting and be affected for the rest of their lives. Previous studies suggest that being a tiger parent can lead to serious anxiety for children and that they usually end up unhappy.
|Being a tiger parent means having the tendency to be pushy and have a strong focus on achievement and academics. / Photo by: dolgachov via 123rf|
A book titled “Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child” written by Dr. Robert MacKenzie stated that fighting back in forms of getting mad, yelling, and repeating yourself over and over is not effective in disciplining children. This common parenting mistake would lead parents 'unintentionally rewarding the misbehavior you're trying to stop.' Instead, parents should learn more effective discipline techniques like time-out, and use logical and natural consequences.
Parenting is indeed a daunting task. There’s a lot of things to learn and consider when raising and disciplining children. Learning some parenting mistakes can help parents not only avoid them but also learn what parenting techniques would suit their kids.