|In movies or in real life, women find themselves falling for the bad guys. What is the paradox behind this attraction / Photo by: Liuba Bilyk via Shutterstock|
Hollywood has always been full of irresistible renegades in many romantic movies from Agent Smith, Tony Montana, Terminator, Michael Corleone, Loki, and the list goes on. Common denominator? All are bad fellas that women helplessly fall for! In movies or in real life, women find themselves falling for the bad guys. What is the paradox behind this attraction?
Why Women Fall for the Dark Side
Science has the answer. It is a primal urge triggered by a chemical reaction in the brain that is fortunately short-lived. Biologically, women are designed to find charismatic, confident, dominant, and risk-taking men. Moreover, it is a hormonal thing. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reports that ovulating women see handsome and headstrong men as appealing partners. They believe that bad boy personalities like an alpha male mindset and audacious boldness make them better lovers and providers. This ovulating lens, however, can frequently lead to heartbreak and heartache in the end as men with rebellious tendencies although appealing may be in reality unable to give lifelong commitment.
The hype the media gives to the bad boy look today is another pull that magnetizes women to hot looking and mysterious bad boys. Music videos, dramas, movies, billboards, advertisements are filled with innuendos that bad is something good. It is everywhere that women are subconsciously sucked into it. It is no wonder then that women are attracted to bad boy stereotypes.
|Science has the answer. It is a primal urge triggered by a chemical reaction in the brain that is fortunately short-lived. Biologically, women are designed to find charismatic, confident, dominant, and risk-taking men / Photo by: Antonio Guillem via Shutterstock|
Most definitely bad boys are more attractive and fun. They are ridiculously good looking as researches attest. The study by Nicholas Holtzman and Michael Strube of Washington University in St. Louis found that narcissists can make themselves look more physically appealing, with amazing wardrobes and incredible hairstyles. They put hard work to fashion themselves to look physically tempting and interesting. Even their body language exudes confidence. Their highly confident demeanors help them to look even more handsome and incredibly sexy. This kind of sex appeal keeps women so intrigued. Along these lines, the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found extreme confidence to draw more romantic partners and at the same time deter other men to vie for the attention and affection of would-be love interests. Research also reveals that people perceive and assume super hot guys as smart, assertive, and magnanimous even if not true. No wonder bad boys are so enticing.
Additionally, bad boys know how to have a good time. A study at the Hospital Clinic in Barcelona led by Fernando Gutierrez revealed bad boy types were considered captivating as they are brave, independent, self-reliant but at the same time impudent and rebellious. These traits, according to Gutierrez, are signals that they possess good genetic qualities to live dangerously without suffering from harm. This wild bad boy image confers them a great evolutionary edge as this means that a few adventures are in the offing. Women look forward to getting wild and spontaneous once in a while.
Studies also showed that women are more attracted to men with “angry” or “proud” expression. This may sound irrational but women find these mysterious and challenging to find out why he is so angry or so dam proud.
It is also to be admitted that women believe that the right woman can change the renegade and rebellious ways of bad boys. This is a false fantasy as bad boys only change when they want to change. Men do not want to remain in romantic relationships with women who want to change them. If a woman finds herself in such a predicament to really fall for a bad boy, just accept him for what he truly is.
Sexual attraction cannot be forced nor controlled, but it can definitely be educated. Learn to put firm boundaries to disqualify and ban men displaying signals of being bad. The following are some pointers in untangling from jerks.
Sharpen senses to detect bad boy characters. If Mr. Sex Bomb is encountered, listen and act on intuition. Be wary of the high flying yarns he will spin around and around. Look out for the big gestures and charms meant to blind reason to win over admiration. Deftly maneuver yourself outside from his clutches.
In relationships, compatibility should take precedence over chemistry. Chemistry can be cultivated as you get to know someone better. It is, however, unlikely to become compatible over time. Bad boys only hint on what women want then turn away very smoothly. Real compatibility does not wane nor vanish. Like-minded temperaments will harmoniously grow.
|Sharpen senses to detect bad boy characters. If Mr. Sex Bomb is encountered, listen and act on intuition. Be wary of the high flying yarns he will spin around and around / Photo by: DavideAngelini via Shutterstock|
Try to get eager and animated with own life. Create awesome and passionate instances that will overshadow the bad boy's influence. Stop disregarding calm and stable men as boring and without life. You may be surprised if you give them a chance!
Bear in mind that love is a joyous journey not a drama of pain. Being with a bad boy may give you some “ups” at the start but would inevitably end in heartaches. Be alert and look for patterns. What was it like when dating a bad boy before? Do not get sucked in by the same maneuvers. Step back and step away as fast as possible.
Do not jump and commit straight away after a few encounters. Bad boys are glib talkers who might sway all your good sense and logic with sweet talks to convince you in saying yes to all his demands. So sit back and wait and be more objective with your decisions.
Old patterns can be changed but may take a while. Persevere and remind yourself that the raw masculine energy luring you in may also be present but packaged differently on a more deserving guy. A bad boy allows his male desires to control him whereas a good man controls and channels his desires to protect, care, and honor his love one. Bad guys are great fun for flings but settle for real nice guys.